Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mabel & Maude

True Tale -
Bridge Tournament, Columbia, SC late 80's - Mama and I take our places opposite of each other at the assigned table. Two ladies arrive at the table and take their "opposing" seats. I was starting to exchange some pleasantries with the ladies when I was cut off by the left.

Lady on my left to lady on my right - "wish you had given me more notice instead of cancelling at the last minute last night."
Right quietly replies - "I'm apologize, I wasn't feeling well."
Left - "with more notice, I could have found another partner"
Right - "I had an upset stomach."
Left sarcastically and loud enough for most to hear - "couldn't you take something for it?
Right quietly replies - "I did."
Left - "Whatever you took must'nt been very good. What in the world did ya eat last night?"

I can sense that heads from around the room are now turned our way but I'm staring down at my lap, 'cause if I dare look at my Mother, I'll just burst out laughing.

Right's voice is now starting to raise in volume - "Mabel, I took some Pepto-Bismol."
Left - "well then, you should've been able to play, and not left me hanging"
Right - "Mabel, I was in the bathroom for most of the evening"
Left - "if you didn't want to play, you could have just said so earlier on, and I could have gotten Velma"
Right can't take it anymore and hollers - "I HAD DIARRHEA!"
Left - "my GAWD Maude, a lady doesn't discuss such things in public"

From then on, whenever Mama and I wanted to crack each other up, we'd look at each other and say MY GAWD MAUDE.

Friday, January 29, 2010

me & mountain man

Late-August 1984, Joanna is 28 years old, living in Wilmington, NC. She's got a sorry job, even sorrier boyfriend, and her car, a Chevy Chevette, is falling apart. She gets a phone call. Somehow through the new James Bond movie, ICEBREAKER, she has won a new silver SAAB Turbo. She picks up the new shiny car, a few days go by, and sorry-ass boyfriend picks a fight with her so he has an excuse to leave the house and go drinking and screwing around.

Joanna sits sulking and feeling sorry for herself, until she realizes Sorry is not a positive force in her life, never will be, and she deserves much better. She decides to make a new start and begins packing her new shiny car. Apparently a neighbor calls Sorry and tells him that a bunch of his stuff is laying out in his front yard because Sorry arrives back home screeching tires, there is a loud verbal altercation, then in a few minutes, Joanna places HER dog in the front seat, screeches tires out of the driveway in her new shiny car. She feels strong and empowered, like Joanna BOND, until after several hours of driving in the worst lightning storm Joanna could ever imagine. Exhausted, she and dog arrive at vacant house in Raleigh, NC and spend the night on the floor. Parents have previously sold house and moved to Boone, NC to semi-retire, new owners haven't moved in yet.

Next morning is just glorious, skies are Carolina Blue, Joanna feels great, ready for a new start, and she and dog head for Boone in new shiny car. As the SAAB, starts climbing the Appalachian mountains, Joanna becomes euphoric with the feeling she's arriving "home."

Labor Day Weekend 1984, Joanna and her mother didn't know anyone in town, they go to the local duplicate bridge club at Appalachian State University and sit down at a table. A large suspender-wearing, tobacco-chewing mountain man walks through the door, he has a big dark beard, is wearing a muscle Tshirt with the suspenders, and Joanna wonders what cave he has crawled out of, mountain man is wearing black shoes with white socks, and he sits down between Joanna and her mother and starts talking like he has known them all their lives, Joanna is thinking he is the biggest hillbilly redneck she's ever imagined, her mother however really seems to be enjoying the company of the man. Joanna with eyebrows raised, stares down at her mother, and is perplexed.

March 1990, at a friends home, on top of a Blue-Ridge mountain, by a suspender-wearing, tobacco-chewing preacher, Joanna and Mountain Man wed. They go to Gatlinburg, TN on their honeymoon and play in a bridge tournament, they have a strong partnership and Mountain Man attains Life Master.

December 1992, Joanna's mother's breast cancer spreads to her liver and she dies. Joanna and Mountain Man are very sad for a long time. Joanna's mother and Mountain Man hit it off from the start, her mother loved Mountain Man like a son and he loved her like a best friend.

January 2010, Joanna has never seen a James Bond movie, not even ICEBREAKER, and she and mountain man are living happily ever after in Boone,NC, up on 30 acres in a 5th-wheel camper along with goats, chickens, turkeys, guinea fowl, and dogs.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

secretary, snow, Subway, & stuff

from the previous post about the Board meeting, I'm a Secretary in town, the meeting is not a high-falutin' event actually, I'm not wearing hose and heals to it or anything. Actually, my job description has evolved beyond secretarial duties into quite a few responsibilities, I'm told I need to wear a lot of hats, however, I got to thinking that I don't think I'm getting paid for all that different hat wearing.
I just saw the movie TWILIGHT, yum, I wouldn't kick that vampire out of the bed.
and oh, I was asking about the movie AVATAR, but I found out that there's no 3D around here, just 2D, although some say I should see it anyway but 3D sounds so good.
The weatherman says we've got another double-digit snow coming, arriving sometime Friday. dang. We have nice, mild summers up here but sure pay for them in the winter.
Quiz-` One of Subway's most popular subs is the B.M.T. What do the letters BMT stand for? The "B.M.T." sandwich at Subway was originally named after the "Brooklyn-Manhattan Transit." Consisting of sliced genoa salami, pepperoni, ham. With time, the sub's name has evolved to mean "Biggest, Meatiest, Tastiest."

We're hearing a lot about Haiti and the people certainly do need help, however, don't forget about animal relief too.
I have notes and lists going all the time, notes taped to my rear view mirror, and on my computer screen, I even have lists about things I'm supposed to think about, subjects to ponder.

I could use some barn cats, but I have been hesitating getting some because the committment would mean another type of food to buy.
goats get grain, hay, minerals, baking soda.
chickens/turkeys/guineas get grain and scratch.
dogs get dry kibble and bones.
we really don't need any more mouths to feed but hopefully they'd control some small varmits.
Don't forget about when you need to replace eyeglasses, my girlfriend got the frames, progressive lenses, the works, for $65!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

jam, mudslide video

Like Barbara over at 3 Acre Homestead doesn't have enough going on, she took the time and expense to send me some of her homemade jams. Very thoughtful. Some people are so good although I personally think they are few are far between; I do better with critters than I do humans.

This is our "driveway." On Monday morning, we had a mudslide on our road and I needed to get to work. Nephew had the tractor and Mike is trying to get a head start by shoveling some it.

Now after the thaw, we're returning to cold, snowy, blustery.
Tuesday Hi: 29 Lo: 20 Mostly cloudy; Snow showers tapering to flurries at night; Colder; NW wind 10-20 mph with gusts to 40 mph at night.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

a flaming star, dog biscuits, ice, video

Never thought I'd be recommending an Elvis Presley movie, but FLAMING STAR (1960) is very good. Y'all, after seeing this film, I'm here to announce that Elvis could have been an outstanding dramatic actor.

A serious drama about the tragedies that racist hatred can bring about. It is considered one of the best, if not the best, film Elvis Presley acted in. Elvis plays the part of Pacer Burton, who has a white father and a Native American mother from the Indian tribe Kiowas. The friction between the tribe and the white settlers causes his father to be killed, then his mother. His brother then stays with the settlers, while Pacer chooses to fight with the Kiowa camp - and more troubles follow. Song tracks found in "Flaming Star" include "Flaming Star", "A Cane and A High-Starched Collar".

Throughout, he ain't hard on the eyes at all, plus he can RIDE a horse, this positive review comes from somebody who never was an Elvis fan in his heyday (David Cassidy had my heart), but if you get a chance to watch it, you should.

Barbara, at 3acrehomestead made some dog biscuits and listed the recipe she used, so I gave it a try. In Barbara's photo's, every thing looks so nice and clean at her place as she is making them, but in my kitchen I had flour everywhere, however, the biscuits did turn out cute and passed the taste test by my three pooches. I guess you could go in all sorts of directions with the ingredients, and come out with different varieties. Also, Barbara just rescued a little goat doeling so she's been racking up a lot of points with me so check out her blog.

2 cups of beef or chicken stock.
1 cup of bread flour
2 cups of whole graham flour or whole wheat
1 cup of rolled oats
1/2 cup of powdered milk
2 teaspoons of yeast
This recipe came with the dog-bone-shaped cutter.
Thursday and Friday were icy and dicey around here, now it's mud city.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

elected official in North Carolina

I, Joanna Wilcox, as an elected official in North Carolina, due solemnly swear, if an incident/s is uncovered about me by the tabloids or any other media, and I can't afford the blackmail payments, I promise not to be involved in coverups, misused campaign funds, falsifying DNA reports, denying the existence of video's taped during some of my sexual escapades, or making hush-money payments to people with your tax dollars, which would be in order to preserve my political ambitions. I promise that fame will not warp me. I will spend my days working for you and not angling on how many times I can score.

If I do get caught in a scandal, and after two years I confess through my high-dollar lawyer, I'll jump in front of a camera so fast in a disaster area, it'll make your head spin!

Seriously, I've 'bout had it with politicians. We knew all along John Edwards, the one-term senator from my beloved North Carolina, who came close to being elected vice president in 2004 and ran a credible campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008 was the baby daddy of that little girl.

After he admitted paternity of Rielle Hunter's daughter, the National Enquirer is applying for a Pulitzer Prize now , I didn't make that up.

As long as he is taking a paycheck from the people, yes, how he conducted himself while he was in office and then out on the campaign trail is my damn business. Edwards wife and staff may assist in the all the coverups, but if you are my politician and you get caught in something, zip up your britches, look me in the eye (in that order) and admit that you have been misrepresenting yourself as the person that you claimed to be to me.

I've gotten to the point, I don't care what political persuasion they are, forget the usual campaign promises, the standards for me electing future politicians have been lowered and we've got to get back to the basics. I'm volunteering my time to compile a questionaire for the folks who will be running for elected office in the future, please note if you have any question suggestions,

1) do you have a shred of decency in ya?
2) can I trust you to tell the truth?
3) if you are elected to office, can you continue to be the person that you represented yourself to be?
4) are you able to respect the people and the tax dollars that you work for?
5) are you insatiable sexually? morning, noon, and night? just daily? what?
6) is your life partner so ambitious too that s/he will stand by you no matter how much humiliation that you bring upon her/him?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

eggs, Brown, vitamins, movies, barnheart

We've been eating fresh eggs from our girls. This egg is in a scraped-out baked potato with some parmesan, chives, a drop of milk added, and baked for just a few minutes. We like our yolks warm, but runny.

Same here, (not baked yet) except I scraped out some rolls instead of potato skins. I added some turkey bacon in these too.

Amazing election of Massachusetts Republican State Senator Scott Brown last night to the US Senate replacing the deceased Liberal-Democrat Ted Kennedy's seat.

Check out Scott Brown nude in Cosmopolitan, circa 1982! Scott won the magazine's “America’s Sexiest Man” contest that year, back when he was a 22-year-old law student at Boston College. You can see why.

After seeing that photo, this old broad ran out and bought some vitamins! Actually, the chiropractor suggested I get some real vitamins instead of the cheapo ones I've been taking. I spent $87 so I sure hope he's happy. Talking to the gal at the healthfood store (poor thing got Lyme disease at 12 years old) about my bursitis, she suggested the MSM2000 and the Ubiquinol100 and told me to lay off the tomatoes and oranges. I told her she may as well have stabbed me in the stomach.

Have you seen this movie? I keep hearing great things about it. Mike and I haven't been to the movie theatre in a coons age. We just watch old movies on the Encore Western Channel at home.

Today, Jenna at ColdAntlerFarm wrote about barnheart. I have a serious case of it, she's a wonderful writer.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Are my goats too fat?

I've been practicing with the new camcorder and merged together somel segments. You know when you're on a learning curve and in the frustrated phase? well, I'm sorta there, at the moment it seems much more involved than just using my digital camera to shoot some video, put the memory card in my laptop and upload it, maybe I'll have some breakthroughs though. I have a real love for photography and the video thing just doesn't have the resolution that holds much interest for me.

Canon FS200 Red Flash Memory Camcorder with 41x Advanced Zoom - Sunrise Red

How can I tell if my goat is fat?

The first question is, are your goats really fat, or just in good condition? Goats are tricky because what looks fat to us is just a healthy goat. We call it "good condition".

If you look at their belly, or width side to side, and this is really big or wide, that is not fat. That is good rumen development and a sign of a healthy goat. A goat's rumen is a big fermentation vat, and the bigger it is the better they process their food. A big rumen is a good thing.

To really judge if a goat is fat, you need to feel the base of the tail (where the tail meets the body). If it is "pudgy" here, the goat is "pudgy". You can also feel their brisket; their front chest. If this area is soft and feels like it has a little extra padding, then your goat also is carrying a little extra padding. We say of our goats that are a little overweight: they are in "very good condition".

Saturday, January 16, 2010

eggs, Wheaton Marans, video

Collected eggs this morning. the greenish ones are from the Marans/Ameraucana crosses, the brown ones are from the Cuckoo Marans, a turkey egg up front.

Wheaton Marans - Duffy and his girls

Monday, January 11, 2010

Kahtoola MICROspikes

You don't have to worry about ole Joanna slipping anymore, now I'm footed with some new Kahtoola MicroSpikes.

Here's my KEEN boots.

They cost more than I'd preferred but they dig in and keep this big girl upright.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mary Jane, Abigail, & video

Sunday evening 6:45PM 15 degrees. I been reading the latest Mary Jane magazine. One quote in it that I've been repeating to myself - "people may not remember what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel."

I'm watching Nims Island as I write this blog. A coworker loaned me the DVD because he thought I'd like it because the little girl on the island has animals for friends. I am enjoying it. Abigail Breslin is just darling as usual. Mike's out in the sunroom watching football.

yes, Mike drove my truck down the hill.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Have Gun - Will Travel

We get a 24/7 western channel, that runs old movies and TV shows. I especially like Have Gun - Will Travel. In fact, I'm announcing here that I'm on a new career path, as the gray-haired, post-menopausal therefore emotionally-charged, all-black wearing, with a string-of-pearls-around-her-neck female version of Paladin, BooneDocksWilcox the gunslinger. Unlike Cheyenne Bodie in Cheyenne who takes a couple of beatings on each show before he solves evil in the town, Paladin just pistol whips or shoots the bad guys, that will be my style too.

Paladin was a male role model who memorized poetry in a 1950s television series. Have Gun — Will Travel was an American Western television series that aired from 1957 through 1963. The show followed the adventures of Paladin, a gentleman gunfighter who preferred to settle problems without violence, yet, when forced to fight, excelled. Paladin lived in the Carlton Hotel in San Francisco, where he dressed in formal attire, ate gourmet food, and attended the opera. Hey, I've been living in an RV but I can handle a big-city hotel, good food, plus I have cousins that live in San Francisco.

When working, he dressed in black, used calling cards, wore a holster that carried a characteristic chess knight emblem, and carried a derringer under his belt. Paladin charged steep fees for his services — typically a thousand dollars a job. My emblem will be a turkey and I won't come cheap either.

His primary weapon was a custom-made, .45 caliber Colt Single Action Army revolver that was perfectly balanced and of excellent craftsmanship. It had a one-ounce trigger pull. The derringer that Paladin hid under his belt had saved his life numerous times. Ever a man of refinement, Paladin even carried a few expensive cigars in his boot when out on adventure. Don't think I will smoke cigars, how 'bout if I walk around eating expensive chocolate?

My Mama was from San Francisco, she loved gunfighters, and the finer things in life so I'm for hire (in a warm climate please) and working on my business cards. You'll be hearing from me.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

out in the cold a' natural

I always like it when Mike climbs in the bed, 'cause his big body radiates so much heat, however, he's a nightowl, a catnap of 4 maybe 5 hours and he's good to go. The other night,

me - Mike come to bed and warm up my butt.
naked Mike as he is climbing in bed - If you'd take your clothes off you'd stay warmer.
me - yeah, just bet I would, I've heard a lot of lines but...
Mike - In the Boy Scouts, they used to tell us to take off our clothes before we got in the sleeping bag, and then our bodies would warm up the bag.
me - In the Girl Scouts none of us were stripping down and I can tell ya my Daddy would've had none of it.
Mike - I'm just saying, it seemed to work.

At the office, I thought I'd do a little informal research, asking male coworkers, former Boy Scouts and military, about Mike's theory, all chuckled and the group was in agreement that Mike was angling for some hoochie-coochie. However, I kept pondering the whole "Boy Scout" mentality, and now have found some online comments -

My army trainers insisted we sleep naked in our sleeping bags. Having been in the Canadian military playing soldier in -30-40C temperature, this is absolutely true. In fact one should be in the buff. If you wear any clothing, you will sweat into them, rendering them useless and in fact you will get very cold very fast. Your body will insulate the bag. Our bags were rated to -60.

Improvements to sleeping bags using Gortex(TM) are making them even better than they need to be. Anytime you can wick away moisture from your body you will be warmer. I have slept quite comfortably in -40F in an Extreme Cold Weather Bag and nothing but a T-shirt and PT shorts. You can also put your clothes in your bag with you where you are laying on top of them, then you have warm clothes to put on in the morning. We also placed our VB boots in the foot of our bags so as to not be putting "blocks of ice" on our feet in the morning. (make sure they are free of mud/snow/dirt before doing this)

Sleeping in clothing is optional,
some like to sleep in their clothing,
other schools of thought are that your sleeping bag will keep you warm so sleep a’ natural, but you should always wear a stocking cap (a.k.a. ski cap, tuke) to sleep in.

So maybe Mikey was speaking from the BRAIN this time.
Here's the walk home this afternoon.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Video Part 1 & 3

Part 2 wouldn't upload

In Part 3 is 7hrs later coming home from work, my mother-in-law is talking to me from her front porch, she wants me to come sit down inside her house, and Mike is calling on the cellphone. I always have to get home to my animals.

Monday, January 4, 2010

zone 6, Blue Ridge Mtns, snow ski

We're in Zone 6, the most Northwestern part of North Carolina.

We live in the Blue Ridge Mountains of the Appalachians.

The movie, Cold Mountain, is a real mountain located within the Pisgah National Forest, Haywood County, North Carolina, which is south of here near Asheville. Have you ever hiked the Appalachian Trail? well, neither has South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford.

The three landforms of North Carolina make up the three major geographic regions of the state: the Coastal Plain, the Piedmont, and the Mountains.

We have several ski resorts in this area - Appalachian Ski, Ski Beech, Ski Sugar, and Hawksnest. Presently at Ski Sugar:
Summit: Current: 5.6°F • High: 5.6°F • Low: -1.3°F
Base: Current: 10.6°F • High: 10.6°F • Low: 4.7°F

Local weatherman - With winds gusting to 50 mph tonight, wind chills will be in the -5 to -15 range, snow showers will increase tonight through Tuesday morning.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

snow, cold, wind, reading, staying warm

it's been lightly snowing all day, temps are in the teens, and winds keep gusting.

Local weatherman - ...chill readings will make it feel like its 10 or more below zero and that is respectable even in these normally windy hills. The only easing of the cold I can promise is a week away from happening so hunker down and hide your body parts!

I've got some good magazines waiting for me on the bed, did you read the quotes in Bakers Creek Heirloom Seeds? My favorite was: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas Edison

At good ole Big Lots, we bought Reddy Heater TB100 - 30 - 55,000 Btu Pro Tough Series Propane Forced Air Heater. 30,000-55,000 BTU Reddy Heater, Propane Gas, Operates On 20-100 LB Tank. We paid $79 at Big Lots, but I see it advertised online in the $119 – $229 price range.

We've got a large propane tank hooked to the furnace and wall heater, but we had two small LB tanks from the RV, so this ReddyHeater can be a good backup just in case.

When we tried it out, the heater/blower sorta works too well, the LOW setting is not low enough, heats up the room very quickly, then we have turn it off.

Friday, January 1, 2010

got leftover's and debt free, frigid cold

Here's our New Years supper today down at Mary's, my mother-inlaw.

Leftover's for the birds

I took the bowl to Franklin and the gang.

Pearl Guinea

In 2009, a big goal accomplished, Mike and I became debt free.
A few hints from this old grandma (Jackie Clay): Get out of debt and stay out of debt. Pay off any credit cards and loans. Actually live simply. Drive a reliable used vehicle and repair it as needed. Stay away from the “must haves” like the plague.

We have to live very modestly, but the feeling of true freedom - being debt free, is amazing.We have everything we NEED and live very comfortably.
This is Spec, a Speckled Sussex.

Cuckoo Marans

A Cuckoo Marans/Ameraucana cross.


Bourbon Red Turkey hen, Frannie


From our local weatherman - Keep the heaters rolling and the path to the woodpile clear as both will get heavy use through next week as we may not get much above twenty until Tuesday....not a typo!

She's on the wrong side of the net, in the hayloft.