Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mabel & Maude


True Tale -
Bridge Tournament, Columbia, SC late 80's - Mama and I take our places opposite of each other at the assigned table. Two ladies arrive at the table and take their "opposing" seats. I was starting to exchange some pleasantries with the ladies when I was cut off by the left.

Lady on my left to lady on my right - "wish you had given me more notice instead of cancelling at the last minute last night."
Right quietly replies - "I'm apologize, I wasn't feeling well."
Left - "with more notice, I could have found another partner"
Right - "I had an upset stomach."
Left sarcastically and loud enough for most to hear - "couldn't you take something for it?
Right quietly replies - "I did."
Left - "Whatever you took must'nt been very good. What in the world did ya eat last night?"

I can sense that heads from around the room are now turned our way but I'm staring down at my lap, 'cause if I dare look at my Mother, I'll just burst out laughing.

Right's voice is now starting to raise in volume - "Mabel, I took some Pepto-Bismol."
Left - "well then, you should've been able to play, and not left me hanging"
Right - "Mabel, I was in the bathroom for most of the evening"
Left - "if you didn't want to play, you could have just said so earlier on, and I could have gotten Velma"
Right can't take it anymore and hollers - "I HAD DIARRHEA!"
Left - "my GAWD Maude, a lady doesn't discuss such things in public"

From then on, whenever Mama and I wanted to crack each other up, we'd look at each other and say MY GAWD MAUDE.


8 comments:

Flartus said...

So how much did you get? We got an inch or less, followed by sleet (or "freezing drizzle"), and now the unplowed roads are sheets of ice. Your stuff looks much more fun!

Your dogs are smarter than mine; twice we had to bring her inside because she ate so much snow she gave herself the shivers!

Melodie said...

Old people crack me up! They will say anything! Great story! Maude...that is a good name for a goat!

Callie said...

LOL
That was a funny story!
I love listening to you talk. Such a pretty place in the snowy mountains. Happy dogs!

Foothills Poultry said...

How much did you ya'll end up with? The white stuff ended at 5 inches here and that includes at least half an inch of sleet. Just 10 miles down the road and the totals literally double.

Joanna, did Pat get in touch with you?

~~Matt~~

Alix said...

My Gawd Maude.... dogs and farm animals don't mix? That's news to me.

Love the snowy panorama, Joanna. And your giggles are always my favorite.

AJ-OAKS said...

Great story! lol :)

Mom L said...

I feel for Maude! Her friend just wouldn't let it rest! Hey, I'm glad to see you didn't fall this time out in the snow. We had a little more here this morning - soft snow, but probably no more than 1/2" on top of our mounds. Expecting more all week. Love how the dogs play in it.

BTW - I saw Avatar yesterday in our little rural theater - no 3D, but hot dang it was worth it anyway! It's amazing!

Nancy in Iowa

Jennifer said...

That is so funny, Gawd Maude, how did you not laugh! I wouldn't have been able to help it. Loved the video, where you live looks so peaceful and pretty.