Joanna in the northwest NC Appalachian Mtns - firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Mabel & Maude
True Tale - Bridge Tournament, Columbia, SC late 80's - Mama and I take our places opposite of each other at the assigned table. Two ladies arrive at the table and take their "opposing" seats. I was starting to exchange some pleasantries with the ladies when I was cut off by the left.
Lady on my left to lady on my right - "wish you had given me more notice instead of cancelling at the last minute last night." Right quietly replies - "I'm apologize, I wasn't feeling well." Left - "with more notice, I could have found another partner" Right - "I had an upset stomach." Left sarcastically and loud enough for most to hear - "couldn't you take something for it? Right quietly replies - "I did." Left - "Whatever you took must'nt been very good. What in the world did ya eat last night?"
I can sense that heads from around the room are now turned our way but I'm staring down at my lap, 'cause if I dare look at my Mother, I'll just burst out laughing.
Right's voice is now starting to raise in volume - "Mabel, I took some Pepto-Bismol." Left - "well then, you should've been able to play, and not left me hanging" Right - "Mabel, I was in the bathroom for most of the evening" Left - "if you didn't want to play, you could have just said so earlier on, and I could have gotten Velma" Right can't take it anymore and hollers - "I HAD DIARRHEA!" Left - "my GAWD Maude, a lady doesn't discuss such things in public"
From then on, whenever Mama and I wanted to crack each other up, we'd look at each other and say MY GAWD MAUDE.
In the NC Appalachian Mtns, NW NC. A full-blown nester. We live on 30 mountain acres. I like to hang out with my critters - a few chickens Pearl & Pied Guineas, Muscovy ducks, 20+ ADGA-registered and appraised Nigerian Dwarf Dairy goats, two miniature Schnauzers - Bitzi and Buzzard. two livestock-guardian dogs - JackBadger and BarbaraJean, and a Irish Terrier - Brawn. . Mike and I are Life Masters at Bridge.
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