Thursday, January 21, 2010

elected official in North Carolina

I, Joanna Wilcox, as an elected official in North Carolina, due solemnly swear, if an incident/s is uncovered about me by the tabloids or any other media, and I can't afford the blackmail payments, I promise not to be involved in coverups, misused campaign funds, falsifying DNA reports, denying the existence of video's taped during some of my sexual escapades, or making hush-money payments to people with your tax dollars, which would be in order to preserve my political ambitions. I promise that fame will not warp me. I will spend my days working for you and not angling on how many times I can score.

If I do get caught in a scandal, and after two years I confess through my high-dollar lawyer, I'll jump in front of a camera so fast in a disaster area, it'll make your head spin!

Seriously, I've 'bout had it with politicians. We knew all along John Edwards, the one-term senator from my beloved North Carolina, who came close to being elected vice president in 2004 and ran a credible campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008 was the baby daddy of that little girl.

After he admitted paternity of Rielle Hunter's daughter, the National Enquirer is applying for a Pulitzer Prize now , I didn't make that up.

As long as he is taking a paycheck from the people, yes, how he conducted himself while he was in office and then out on the campaign trail is my damn business. Edwards wife and staff may assist in the all the coverups, but if you are my politician and you get caught in something, zip up your britches, look me in the eye (in that order) and admit that you have been misrepresenting yourself as the person that you claimed to be to me.

I've gotten to the point, I don't care what political persuasion they are, forget the usual campaign promises, the standards for me electing future politicians have been lowered and we've got to get back to the basics. I'm volunteering my time to compile a questionaire for the folks who will be running for elected office in the future, please note if you have any question suggestions,

1) do you have a shred of decency in ya?
2) can I trust you to tell the truth?
3) if you are elected to office, can you continue to be the person that you represented yourself to be?
4) are you able to respect the people and the tax dollars that you work for?
5) are you insatiable sexually? morning, noon, and night? just daily? what?
6) is your life partner so ambitious too that s/he will stand by you no matter how much humiliation that you bring upon her/him?


lisa said...

Amen!! Lisa

Chickenista said...

Right on! I would love love love to find one politican who came from nothing, went to a moderate college on their own means, truely honest and straight forward and wants to actually work FOR the people instead whatever it is we have now. Too much corruption and leniency.

melanie said...

You go, girl!

Kelly or Alex said...

You can't be a politician because your statement excludes you. You have to be crooked, lie, steal. That's just the way it is. Too much power goes to the head and makes it impossible to navigate doorways. Shame, you would have made a great politician in an Utopia. They just don't exits.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

*snort* Oh man, Joanna. You give it to 'em holds barred. That's just what those yellow-belly, snake in the grass politicians need!

You go girl!

Alix said...

Well.... you're not John Edwards... that's for damn sure.

Callie said...

Love your egg recipes!

I would love to have politicians who work for the good of the country instead of for themselves or their party.
That would be different.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't have said better myself!
I totally agree!!

Have a great weekend.

Melodie said...

You said it girl!!!!!I think people on the whole are sick to death of these crooked politicians and the way the are running our country in the ground!

BlueRidge Boomer said...

I love it!!

Here's my question.....

Will you actually do something for the people in a crisis or are you just there for the photo op??


ps....iced-in over here!

Joanna@BooneDocksWilcox said...

Oh, I'll jump in front of a camera in a disaster area so fast, it'll make your head spin!

BlueRidge Boomer said...

Can you tell me ...Why in the world is Jon Edwards in Haiti?......can you say...skip town?!!


Mom L said...

Wow! You leave no room for the ordinary crooked, self-serving politician. What's wrong with you? Oh, that's right, you're an honest woman!

Thanks for the post, Joanna!!

Nancy in Iowa

Mahala said...

Joanna....on that "zip your britches"...does that apply to Scott Brown also????? I'd hate for you to waste all those vitamins!

Anonymous said...

Joanna, you have my vote!!!

It is a sad state of affairs, you know?

I began reading a chapter in a book yesterday. The subject is trust. It describes how we trust people (authority, friends, and even some family) less and less. How we do not know who we can believe because we wonder what a "persons agenda is." Bingo.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Louise said...

I wish more politicians, and actors, and sports people, well, maybe everyone, would understand that they act as role models. Some example these people are giving us today.

Jan said...

Makes me want to pinch his head right off his shoulders.