Friday, January 29, 2010

me & mountain man

Late-August 1984, Joanna is 28 years old, living in Wilmington, NC. She's got a sorry job, even sorrier boyfriend, and her car, a Chevy Chevette, is falling apart. She gets a phone call. Somehow through the new James Bond movie, ICEBREAKER, she has won a new silver SAAB Turbo. She picks up the new shiny car, a few days go by, and sorry-ass boyfriend picks a fight with her so he has an excuse to leave the house and go drinking and screwing around.

Joanna sits sulking and feeling sorry for herself, until she realizes Sorry is not a positive force in her life, never will be, and she deserves much better. She decides to make a new start and begins packing her new shiny car. Apparently a neighbor calls Sorry and tells him that a bunch of his stuff is laying out in his front yard because Sorry arrives back home screeching tires, there is a loud verbal altercation, then in a few minutes, Joanna places HER dog in the front seat, screeches tires out of the driveway in her new shiny car. She feels strong and empowered, like Joanna BOND, until after several hours of driving in the worst lightning storm Joanna could ever imagine. Exhausted, she and dog arrive at vacant house in Raleigh, NC and spend the night on the floor. Parents have previously sold house and moved to Boone, NC to semi-retire, new owners haven't moved in yet.

Next morning is just glorious, skies are Carolina Blue, Joanna feels great, ready for a new start, and she and dog head for Boone in new shiny car. As the SAAB, starts climbing the Appalachian mountains, Joanna becomes euphoric with the feeling she's arriving "home."

Labor Day Weekend 1984, Joanna and her mother didn't know anyone in town, they go to the local duplicate bridge club at Appalachian State University and sit down at a table. A large suspender-wearing, tobacco-chewing mountain man walks through the door, he has a big dark beard, is wearing a muscle Tshirt with the suspenders, and Joanna wonders what cave he has crawled out of, mountain man is wearing black shoes with white socks, and he sits down between Joanna and her mother and starts talking like he has known them all their lives, Joanna is thinking he is the biggest hillbilly redneck she's ever imagined, her mother however really seems to be enjoying the company of the man. Joanna with eyebrows raised, stares down at her mother, and is perplexed.

March 1990, at a friends home, on top of a Blue-Ridge mountain, by a suspender-wearing, tobacco-chewing preacher, Joanna and Mountain Man wed. They go to Gatlinburg, TN on their honeymoon and play in a bridge tournament, they have a strong partnership and Mountain Man attains Life Master.

December 1992, Joanna's mother's breast cancer spreads to her liver and she dies. Joanna and Mountain Man are very sad for a long time. Joanna's mother and Mountain Man hit it off from the start, her mother loved Mountain Man like a son and he loved her like a best friend.

January 2010, Joanna has never seen a James Bond movie, not even ICEBREAKER, and she and mountain man are living happily ever after in Boone,NC, up on 30 acres in a 5th-wheel camper along with goats, chickens, turkeys, guinea fowl, and dogs.


Anonymous said...

Wow Joanna Bond! I enjoyed that. I found one of those tobacco chewing fellows a long time ago too.
Aren't they wonderful?

What happened to the shiny SAAB?

So sorry about your mother. Cancer is so bad. I lost my father to lung cancer in 86.

Great post and picture. Love the flower headband.
Have a great weekend.

P.S. I heard snow is headed back that way. Stay warm and safe.

Chicken Boys said...

Tell Joanna and Mountain man that Randy said congrats on a life well spent. An amazing story, though I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.

Melodie said...

What a story! It played out like a movie or romance novel.Girl leaves bad life,finds a place she loves and in it is the man she loves! The sadness of losing your mother too soon was awful. Thanks for sharing your story with your blog land friends! Hmmm...have you considered writing it into a romance novel???

Linda said...

That was a cool recap of your life. How did you ever win the Saab though? It is very nice you are happy but very sorry about your mom.

Louise said...

I'm sorry that you lost your Mom way too early. I really enjoyed your story, though, and am very glad that you and your Mountain Man lived happily ever after.

Mom L said...

I smiled all the way through the lovely post! I, too, put belongings of a loser guy out on a curb long ago! But darn it, I didn't find my own mountain man. Hugs to you and Mike - you've earned this wonderful life!

diane said...

what a fantastic story! i know your mom is looking down on you and mountain man smiling from ear to ear.

Anonymous said...

What a great story. Thanks for sharing.

I just have to tell you that way back when I also had a Chevy Chevette. White to be exact. Only things is I did not win a new car. I ended up putting 180 thousand miles on that car.

Spring Lake Farm said...

Great story!


Anonymous said...

LMAO... I'd have thrown his stuff out on the lawn too! Serves him right!!! LOL Great story.

The Blue Ridge Gal
(stay warm! snow on the way!!)

Mary Humphrey said...

I can not seem to wipe out the image of a mountain man in a muscle shirt and suspenders!!!

Great story, Joanna. Funny how life turns when we least expect it to.

I am sorry you lost your mother.

Hope you are staying warm in this cold snap...and dry too!

Alix said...

Oh Joanna! I never knew you were a hired assassin, but it looks like you had your mountain man in the crosshairs from the beginning.

That was a wonderful exciting intriguing tale! I can't wait for the next chapter! Or would that be sequel?

And what's it like to win a freaking car? Holy cow!

John Gray said...

joanna we are twins..just written a similar kinda blog.....
mind you I shacked up with an academic not a mountain man!!!

Flartus said...

Too cute! What did your mom have to say about Mountain Man after you left the club?? And how long did it take before you agreed to go on a date with him? You two sure look like a happy couple in that wedding photo--guess you were!

Lucy and Ethel said...

Love this story!!! And I loved it even more because I could hear you tellin' it :)


thecrazysheeplady said...

What a great story, well except for your mom :-/. I could visualize the entire thing and was laughing out loud.

Tammy said...

Loved the story Joanna. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. It's always nice to know a little about the people who write the blogs I enjoy!

Peggy said...

What a beautiful love story! Sorry about your mother. I lost my mother and dad to that ugly cancer and know your heart will always have a hurt spot.